Interviewer: Eralba Hajdaraj

Interview Subject: Odessa Rita P.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Way before the pandemic, I had been struggling with controlling my emotions. I would try to hold them in without knowing how to deal with them. I was also extremely insecure about my appearance. Sometimes, I interpreted things my parents would say as an attack on my looks, and I couldn’t even realize it was all just in my head.

Into the pandemic, I started to have trouble with my friendships. I had come to the point where I realized they weren’t good for me. They treated me like a last resort; a second choice. In the 5th grade, I only had one comfort: my teacher. She would reassure me whenever I got stressed, and that helped keep me grounded in reality.

If it weren’t for how the pandemic drained my parents, life would’ve gone a lot better for me. My parents were outdoorsy people, and the confinement of the pandemic irritated them. This culminated in us having a lot of fights. Sometimes a week would go by and I wouldn’t even notice it because I’d be so tired from the fights. It was all just too much. 

Then I started calling my therapist. He helped me initially make up with my parents. After that, I learned that he had been talking about our sessions behind my back with my parents. That really broke my trust. What was even worse was that, even though my parents knew my feelings, they didn’t CHANGE. The fights went on, and I never had any closure in mending things with them.

During the pandemic, I had a phone which I used to take photos of myself smiling and dancing because I wanted to capture those moments where I had the strength to be happy despite everything. After the pandemic, I slowly started having more of those happy moments. I met my first really good friends and had my first crush. It’s still hard to deal with my thoughts, but I have started to accept life lessons with open arms. It’s those kinds of things that you don’t realize are so important in knowing until you get to them. 

Overall, the pandemic’s effect hurt my family and me. But, the journey was just another stepping stone for creating who I am now: a teenager who is still learning.