Thanks, but No Thanks

This is just to say I got your letter
And I suppose it helped me understand you better.
About the poem, I’ve got a few things to say
About all the flowery language – it gets in the way.

Firstly, why all the rush and drama?
At this rate we’ll both suffer some serious trauma.
You called me pretty in so many ways,
But honestly dude, it’s only been two days.

And don’t worry; I’m not going to die.
Which leaves me a little confused as to why
You are so concerned about our time –
Maybe you’ve just had too much wine?

I understand you’re trying to ‘court’ me and all,
But honestly, we seem to be hitting a wall.
You don’t let me talk and you’re starting to bore
When I talk of my life you tend to ignore.

Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re sweet
And all this attention is a treat.
But what you’re seeing isn’t me being ‘coy’
It’s me thinking, ‘I’m just a shiny little toy.’

So here is my idea of what would be best
Dear misguided boy, please give it a rest.

A response to Andrew Marvell’s “To His Coy Mistress” by Rachel Almuli and Paige Kruger